Kyudo: Thoughts on Spirit

I read an interesting blog this morning. In it, the author broaches the subject of spirit. He makes some interesting points. I especially liked the way he tied-up the article.  I had to smile a bit.

http://karamatsu.wordpress.com/2014/01/18/kyudo-notebook-%E5%BF%83/#like-1249

From my viewpoint, spirit is one of those concepts I think may never be explained aptly. Much like love, we can talk endlessly about it. We can describe love, or spirit, in many contexts, but there really is no combination of words that come close to describing the feeling. I think what is of importance here is that we are continually willing to amend, re-shape and mold, our philosophy on any subject. Varied perspective is essential to form a more complete concept of the whole, if this is even totally possible with our mental limitations.

I ran across a few words of wisdom my friend Arun Drummond had shared, wherein he stated, “If you are not open to new ideas or experiences, the knowledge that you already posses will remain incomplete and lose any opportunity to grow. To believe that what you know is final is a fallacy and will be challenged until the end of time.”

Let me try to explain through example the thought I’m trying to convey here.  After dating a short while, the man I was to marry down-the-road told me that he loved me.  In response, I said, “I think I love you too.”  Now, he gave me a hard time about that response for many years.  Obviously, it wasn’t very romantic, but it was an honest response.  Being young, I wasn’t sure of exactly what love was at the time, and I knew that. As it turned out, that spark of love would continue to grow and become stronger through the years. That love grew to be a fluid emotion, expansive. It ebbed and flowed, with twists and turns, with knots.  That love endured, even the toughest battles.  My concept of love at the beginning of our relationship and at the end, when he passed away, were totally different.

I believe the same will be true for most of us as we “search” for “spirit”.  (Much as searching for love, we probably would be better off not “searching” for spirit, but rather relaxing and allowing it to happen.)

We are told that we must posses spirit to grow in Kyudo.  It may be that in the beginning we cling to some pre-conceived concept of what we think spirit is.  We have to open our hearts to the concept and allow it to form, allow that “spark” to take hold, to grow, to become entwined with our being.  I’m quite sure that if we are flexible in our thinking and feeling, what we thought as a mudan will certainly be different than that as a godan and so on. We have to let go of what we once thought and allow new input to let us re-shape our beliefs.

As Karamatsu states in his blog, “I always thought I understood what he (Sensei)  meant, but it turns out I only thought I did because I knew the words. It wasn’t until today that something sort of “clicked” inside and I caught… not a glimpse, but more like the reflection, in the window of a passing car, of the shadow of the tracks left in blown snow by a glimpse that had gone by earlier. So… not very substantial, but everybody has to start somewhere, and I guess for me this is it. I hope I can get a whole glimpse before I die.”

Many writers, of both words and music, have made attempts to describe love, as well as spirit, working all around the edges, but never making it quite to the heart. This seems to be another case of “telling”, versus actually “experiencing” something. Sometimes I think that when we are there we will know it. But where is “there”?  As I read somewhere the other day, legendary cellist Pablo Casals was asked why he continued to practice with such diligence at age 90.  He stated, “Because I think I am making progress.”

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Archery on the Squirrely Side

Archery on the Squirrely Side

Okay, granted it’s not Kyudo, but mos def  it is  “The Road Less Traveled”.

While I have been absent in many ways for a while (No, it wasn’t jail.), I hope I will be sharing more of my musings here in the upcoming year.

It is my wish that the related article brings a smile and maybe even a little laugh as you read it.  May we take the positive into the new year and have a great future ahead, in Kyudo and in life, for “Kyudo is Life”!

Happy 2014!

“Just don’t point that at Squirrel Girl, if you know what’s good for you.”

WASHINGTON MAN SHOOTING POT ARROWS AT JAIL WAS JUST TRYING TO GET THE SQUIRRELS HIIIIIIIGH

by DOKTOR ZOOM
There’s no gunshots or stripper poles, and sadly no alligators guarding a stash, but this story from Washington nonetheless warms the cockles of Yr Wonkette’s cruel dark heart:

A Bellingham man wrapped a baggie of marijuana around an arrow and fired it at the second-floor recreation area of Whatcom County Jail on Tuesday morning, Aug. 27, according to the sheriff’s office.

David Wayne Jordan, 36, later claimed he had been aiming at a squirrel.

“He had no explanation as to why squirrel hunting requires attaching marijuana to an arrow,” said Whatcom County Sheriff Bill Elfo.

Is there anything about this story that is not perfect? Marijuana arrow, insane explanation – squirrel!! – Whatcom County, a suspect whose middle name is Wayne, and “Sheriff Bill Elfo,” who we suspect may be from The Shire.

Fuck it, we are DONE for the day.

We are informed by our Editrix that we are not actually done for the day.

Mr. Jordan’s attempt to play Green Arrow (sorry Hawkeye fans, no love for you here) was seen by a civilian jail employee who noticed Jordan getting out of his pickup with a hunting bow outside of the jail. We’ll just let the Bellingham Herald’s Caleb Hutton describe the event, because he clearly loves his job as much as we love ours right now:

He fired the marijuana missile upward toward a mesh screen near the top of the second-floor, fresh-air exercise area for inmates, Elfo said. If fired at a perfect angle, the sheriff added, an arrow might squeeze through the screen.

But, apparently, this marksman was no Robin Hood. The arrow — along with a few grams of marijuana and a yet-to-be-identified substance — missed its target and landed on the roof. Jordan fled the scene in his Ford, but the civilian employee wrote down its license plate, Elfo said.

The targeted recreation area was empty at the time, so “deputies aren’t sure if the arrow had an intended recipient.”

Jordan had previously been jailed earlier this month on charges of assault and resisting arrest, and had just gotten out last Friday, August 23. He was arrested and booked Tuesday “on suspicion of introducing contraband to a corrections facility” and other charges. In some of the best local reporting we’ve seen in a long time, Hutton notes that Jordan’s “current cell is on the first floor.”

Well played, Mr. Hutton. Well played.

Read more at http://wonkette.com/527076/washington-man-shooting-pot-arrows-at-jail-was-just-trying-to-get-the-squirrels-hiiiiiiigh#mO1OP3zJtRlWBYJI.99

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A Thought or Two on Spirit

Breathe in and let yourself soar to the ends of the universe; breathe out and bring the cosmos back inside. Next, breathe up all the fecundity and vibrancy of the earth. Finally, blend the breath of heaven and the breath of earth with your own, becoming the Breath of Life itself. -Morihei Ueshiba

In our discussions of Kyudo, religion, psychology, philosophy and such, a friend once asked me to define spirit. He said that he would then tell me how he defined it. He never did. We don’t talk anymore. I suppose we are still “friends” in some loose sense of the word. We are cordial in passing at seminars, but little more. If this person did nothing else, he gave me cause to investigate other ways of viewing things. I am thankful for that, though I suspect he had little respect for my viewpoint.

I truly think that things happen for a reason. Our paths intersect with others for the purpose of teaching us that which we need to learn. I believe this friend fulfilled this purpose for me and moved on. I hope I left him with some lesson of goodness.

One of the problems we encounter in life is the assumption and expectation that we can define everything and wrap it up neatly in words.

Spirit is one of those areas. We know it when it touches us, but we reach to touch it and it slips through our fingers. It comes and goes, but somehow is ever present.

I relate the word spirit to the word love in certain senses. I’m sure no sane person would argue the existence of love. Love gives us strength, gives us purpose. We search for it. It can seem forever evasive or flowing like wine. Whether it is the pure and simple love of the sunshine, a mother’s love for her child or as complex as two lovers, it warms our heart and fills us completely.

Spirit? Some would say spirit is connected to religion. Some would say it is related to a state of mind. Some may even say it is related to nature. I cannot say that any of these are wrong. I simply cannot say. You will know it when it finds you.

For the naysayers of the world that don’t believe in much of anything beyond the material, I would suggest they begin with consideration that the English word spirit comes from the Latin word spiritus, meaning breath.

As you shoot, consider the importance of breath in your Kyudo.

Sha Soku Jinsei.

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“The Essence is in the Marrow”

The way is not with the bow, but with the bone, which is of the greatest importance in shooting.-Junsei Yoshimi (Shaho-Kun)

I ran across the following in an email notification from one of Rick Beal’s blogs:

The very marrow of our bone carries electricity & Chemistry throughout our bodies. Kido is the artistry of painting the flow of these energies in a natural way.

It brought to mind something a ran across several years ago and still find intriguing:

In The Bodhisattva Warriors by Terrance Duke, on page 465, he states:

“Long before Western medicine had arisen, the Ksatreya Vaidya (healers) taught that the elements of Fire and Air combined in the marrow to create, or revitalize, the blood. The marrow was therefore considered to be an important source of life energy.

If the marrow became imbalanced, the balance of the body’s elements (dhatu) would be thrown out of order and, in turn, all the bodily functions suffered. In addition to the blood, the physical vital energies also were held to “mature” within the marrow, and thus the marrow was a point of contact between the different energy systems of this, and other, worlds.

So, here, we draw on the Five Element Theory that Miyamoto Musashi writes of in his Book of Five Rings. If we think of the aforementioned energies in terms of Kyudo, we might refer to this as ki.

In the 2011 Second Quarter issue of the Journal of the South Carolina Kyudo Renmei, Blackwell sensei discusses the Five Element Theory. (http://sckrjournal.org/issue/2011-second-quarter/article/japanese-culture-in-kyudo-the-oriental-paradigm)

And… as I have been told… “the essence is in the marrow.”

Something worth thinking about.

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Attending the 2011 American Kyudo Seminar

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Kyudoka of the 2011 American Kyudo Seminar

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Opening Sharei of the 2011 American Kyudo Seminar

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In closing on the 2011 American Kyudo Seminar (Minnesota)

The 2011 American Kyudo drew to a close Friday afternoon. We walked in on test day with hopes of reaching our goals, but at the same time striving to keep expectations on an even keel and just shoot. Satake sensei warned us the first day that it was silly to be fearful of a paper target. I’m not so sure it was the target that evoked fear, but more the knowing that we were standing under the scrutiny of three of the top Hanshi Hanchidan of Japan. They not only knew of our present shot, but our past, as well. Satake sensei had seen most of us at previous seminars. While many had not meet Iijima sensei prior, he inspected the yugake while we stood baring all at zanshin. The yugake told our history.

I always find the language barrier an insurmountable wall in the cultural gap. There are things said and unsaid that will never be understood. That is not to say we didn’t have good translators, because that would be untrue. We had the best translations of any seminar I have yet to attend. But, I still suspect there is something lost in translation. Especially difficult are those cases when you find yourself face-to-face with the sensei. The right words don’t come or they speak to you in Japanese and you are standing there clueless. I would like to think they were only making “small talk” and nothing important was said, but I have been unable to convince myself of this.

Each year the sensei tell us that we are being tested on the same standards as those in Japan. Quite possibly, this is the first year they have actually followed through on this. Congratulations are in order to those that achieved rank progression.

As I listened to self-assessments after the seminar, I realized that many knew how they had screwed up in our one brief moment to perform our best. Many others were in awe that they had not passed, feeling as they had done everything as they should.

Tension took its toll. There were those that shot beautifully all week and didn’t hit the target on test day. The pressure of the moment shattered their heijoshin. As for myself, my shooting was erratic all week. In spite of the tension, I came through on the mock test and the exam with a solid hit. While I can’t tell you my one mistake that stole victory from me this year, I gather it was a multitude of little things that tipped the sensei’s scales in favor of giving me another year to master the basic form. In some regards, I am thankful for having at least another year to work towards standing solidly on the rank of yondan.

It occurred to me prior to testing that I had nothing to lose. I have never heard of anyone being demoted and rank being taken away after an exam. By just participating in the seminar and shinsa we took away valuable experience. The analysis we received from the sensei added to our winnings. Rank is merely a title. Putting ego aside, we are the same today as we were yesterday, only hopefully a bit wiser, a bit more experienced.

As Blackwell sensei best put it, “we return home, pass or fail, we pick up our yumi and continue training.”

We continue our journey, a journey of “have to be pursuedness”. I’m not sure where it is we are in such a hurry to go… “life is a journey, not a destination.”-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Enjoy the jounrney. Sha Soku Jinsei!

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Haiku

I ran across this haiku from “Chibi”, the pen name of Dennis M. Holmes:

sudden shower!
each raindrop
a bull’s-eye

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Lessons to be Learned

Nesreddin is a Sufi from the Middle East during the Middle Ages. His tale applies quite well to all cultures, to Kyudo and all life experiences…

Nasreddin brought a bow and arrows with him to the country fair, and his students all came to see their teacher compete in the archery contest.

Like all other contestants, Nasreddin was given three shots at the target. Before he took his first shot, Nasreddin put on the kind of hat a soldier wears and stood up very straight. Then he pulled the bow back hard and fired. Nasreddin missed the target completely, and the crowd laughed mightily at him.

Nasreddin picked up the bow once more and drew it back. This time he used much less strength, and although the arrow flew straight at the target, it fell far short.

Nasreddin had only his third shot left. He simply turned to face the target and fired the third arrow. It hit dead center, and the whole crowd went crazy! Everyone wanted to know how he made the last shot after not even having come close with the first two.

“I’ll tell you,” Nasreddin said.

“For the first shot, I was imagining I was a soldier and a terrible enemy faced me. Fear caused the arrow to fly high over the target.

When I took the second shot, I was thinking like a man who had missed his first one and was so nervous he could not concentrate. He was weak with worry, and the shot was weak, too.”

Nasreddin paused. Finally a courageous soul spoke up. “And what about the third one? Who fired that arrow?”

“Oh,” said Nasreddin. “That was me!”

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Shugyo

I recently received an article for the second issue of the Journal of the SCKR (http://sckrjournal.org), in which the word “shugyo” is brought up in reference to the Ironman-100 Arrow Shoot, which we do twice a year. By coincidence, if you want to call it that, the book that I ordered online last week is talking about that very thing, but more in-depth. The second paragraph into chapter one, Yuasa Yasuo’s book, The Body, Self-Cultivation, and Ki-Energy (State University of New York Press, Albany, 1993) brings up the word “shugyo“.

The author gives us a loose translation as being “self-cultivation”. He tells us that in Eastern culture there are many means to self-cultivation, with Zen being one that gained notoriety worldwide. He points out the huge influence the Buddhist methods have had on the development of artistry and martial arts as a whole and correlates the Indian term “tapas” to “shugyo” (as in having to do with fire and heat, more in the sense of an internal or mental fire, rather than a literal translation, or the creation of something new within oneself.) Related, also, are the terms “kinyoku” and “kugyo“, meaning something akin to “austerity” and “asceticism”.

Yuasa points out that this type of philosophy, the training of the body and mind (spirit) as one, is the way of thinking in Eastern cultures and has been for generations. Since the shift in modern philosophy with Renee Descartes (1596-1650), “I think, therefore I am” and mind-body dualism, most Westerners have had a hard time with this concept of bringing the mind and body together. (In relation to Kyudo, I note here that the yumi is considered part of the body and we are to bring the mind, body and bow together as one, Sanmi-Ittai.)

The translators (Shigenori Nagatomo/Monte S. Hill) include a paragraph of notation in regard to the term “shugyo” stating:
“The term “shugyo” is translated throughout this book as “self-cultivation”, or simply “cultivation”. It consists of two Chinese characters, “to master” and a “practice”. Literally then, it means “to master a practice”. As is clear in this literal rendition, the term “self” does not appear in the original phrase. The rendition of “self-cultivation” is adopted because of the individualistic orientation of Western society. Philosophically this rendition is felicitous for initial stages of “self-cultivation”, but since its ultimate goal is to achieve the state of “no-mind” or “no-self”, it does not do justice to the full meaning of the original phrase. As long as the reader is aware of the fact that a psychological, existential transformation occurs in the course of “self-cultivation”, where the self of everyday experience is discarded and transformed, the rendition of “shugyo” as “self-cultivation” should not pose any difficulty. Yuasa seems to think that the concept of “no-self” or “no mind” parallels Jung’s concept of “Selbst“, although they may not be identical.”

With that said, this puts me about three pages into the book. This book has already proven to be very educational. I hope to do a more in-depth review later, but in the meantime, you might want to go ahead and check it out for yourself. Interesting stuff!
(Edited 4/2/11)

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A New Year

While the holidays are welcome, it is nice to settle back into the more routine side of life. I think about all of the “Happy New Year” exclamations and remember that it is but another moment in the passing of time. Every moment is a new moment and worth celebrating… but, for the most part, these moments are taken for granted.

It was a busy weekend, with the Journal of the SC Kyudo Renmei going live. For being the holidays, the response has been excellent. I touched briefly on the journal in the previous post, but being in a rush to leave town and visit with family, feel that I did not give it my full attention.

The journal is a quarterly publication. The normal subscription, which is free, will allow a preview. For a small fee to help cover our costs, the premium subscription will allow full membership. While it is not a “how to” publication as such, the premier issue opens with an in depth article by our guest, Don Rabska. Don’s expertise is in Olympic recurve archery, but he has studied many different styles, including Kyudo. With this background, and as a former Olympic archery coach, he brings rare insight to the subject. I believe you will be surprised to find the common bonds we share.

Those of you that know Blackwell sensei, know that he can be a man of few words. So, much like the E.F. Hutton…

…when he talks, we listen.
He has a series of articles lined up for this year on cultural influences in Kyudo, with the premier being Confucianism. This is highly educational and helps bring understanding to the “whys” of many of the Kyudo customs.

While, the 2010 IKYF seminar fades with the rest of 2010, Marceleo Frischknecht ignites a memory in a most poetic sense. Whether you were there in person or not, you will enjoy the journey he paints of this experience. Marceleo was there assisting, translating, competing, training and testing, so he had the full seminar experience in the truest sense.

We hope you agree that with this journal, we have brought an enjoyable forum to learn and grow and that you will join us through sharing your own personal insight into the art, regardless of style. Each person has something to teach, so I hope you will take our hand and join us on this journey.

Let me close by wishing you all a happy new year, celebrating each new moment along the way and finding the positive aspect that is always there to be found.

Happy New Year!
(http://sckrjournal.org)

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Journal of the South Carolina Kyudo Renmei

As we close the door on this year and a new one opens for 2011, I am happy to share with you the word that the SCKR has published our first online issue of the Journal of the South Carolina Kyudo Renmei. More about it can be found at http://sckrjournal.org/

We hope that you will find it beneficial.

Happy New Year to ALL!

EDIT: Corrected URL to http://sckrjournal.org/

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Kyudo Mindset

My usage of the word “try” was pointed out to me. Prior to this discussion, the word “try” made sense to me, mainly because I try to be accurate in what I say. I try to be true to my word. By using the word “try” I am covered if I fall short of my goal.

What I had not considered is that I am mentally setting myself up for the likelihood of failure before I ever begin. “Try” is not a very powerful or confident word. Think about the two following scenarios:

(I need to ship a very important package. “It absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.” I am checking, making phone calls.)

Shipper #1:
Me: “I must have this package delivered tomorrow morning. Can you do this?”
Shipper: “Yes, we offer overnight service. We will try to deliver your shipment in the morning.”

Shipper #2:
Me: “I must have this package delivered tomorrow morning. Can you do this?”
Shipper: “Yes, we offer overnight service. We will deliver your shipment in the morning!”

Even if both of these shippers put forth the same amount of effort to get the job done, I am going with shipper #2. They exhibit the kind of confidence you can count on. Realistically speaking, there will be instances when we fall short of our goals, but we should not start out limiting ourselves before we ever begin. We have to have confidence in our shooting.

So, listen to yourself as you talk and think. How often do you use the word “try”?

As the wise Jedi Master Yoda said, “Do, or do not. There is no try.”

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Kyudo: Breathing

In Kyudo, we are taught fairly early on how important the breathing is. I’ve heard more than once from Blackwell Sensei, “Don’t stop breathing, at least not in my class!” We are instructed to breathe from the tanden. Without focused effort, at least initially, it is easy to slip back into breathing from the chest.

In Don Rabska’s article, Breathing for Better Performance, (Archery Focus, July/August 1999), he points out that proper breathing will help:
1. regulate your shot timing
2. maintain focus
3. provide adequate oxygen for clear thinking
4. contribute to relaxation
5. sustain body stability

He goes on to explain that upper chest breathing causes the stomach to rise on the “in” breath, the ribs to move up, resulting in the shoulders moving, thus affecting the overall shot.

To practice your breathing he suggests sitting on a firm chair, half way back on the seat, having your back straight and chin centered over the sternum. Imagine an air tube running from the nose to the tanden. Focus on the air flowing in through this tube as you breathe. The “out” breath should be slowly exhaled taking nearly twice as long as the “in” breath, using basic meditation breathing techniques. With practice breathing from the diaphragm, there will be minimal movement in the chest. The shoulders will remain low and relaxed, while any movement will be confined to the abdomen.

Even if we can’t make it to the dojo to shoot every day, we can usually find simple ways to work on improving our skills for when we do. As Blackwell Sensei pointed out one day, if you are able to stand up straight, you are able to put your mind in the dojo.

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Archery Buddy Application

You know how in those dull moments, we sometimes just start playing with that latest technology to see what we can discover, googling odd words and searching for what we haven’t found yet. In one of these moments, I came across an application for the Droid phone called “Archery Buddy”. God knows how I love my archer buddies, so this must be good too.

Well, it’s not going to be my new best friend, but it might come in handy one day. It seems that the phone application may be fairly new and they are working on some developments, but in general, it is a great idea. It is a portable means of recording your target hits. The targets are FITA, Imperial, Field and Hunter targets, but I never let minor details hold me back.

Look for “Archery Buddy” (free download) and see what you think.

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Kyudo: Iron Man Competition

What started out as a SCKR event seemed to spread like wildfire as word got around. Once it hit Facebook, the challenge was on!

We were challenged publicly on Facebook, by Mauricio in Mexico, to come out and shoot for the “Iron Man” competition on August 7th. A personal competition. Some competed with the heat, others the freezing cold. Some were forced to cancel due to rain, but were still with us in the spirit of oneness. Some competed with time limitations on facility usage, others competed for daylight hours. We shot before work, after work, in the night by car light and by flashlight. Family time had to be put on standby, unless your family was out there shooting with you. There were those of all levels of rank taking part, from mudan to the sensei and even those from styles having no ranking system. Kyudoka were shooting gomiyumi, makiwara, and 28 meters. There was participation from as far as 50 degrees below the equator to 40 degrees above. From Maine to Florida in the East, to California in the West and from Canada to Mexico to Argentina, we came together to make it happen.

The Iron Man goal for many was 100 arrows. We were advised that men over 60 may shoot 70 arrows. Men over 70 may shoot 50. Women may shoot 50 arrows. Women over 60 may shoot 40 arrows. It also was strongly suggested that we keep a record of our hits and misses and where the arrows landed to look for patterns in our shooting. We were to work on our trouble areas, rather than just going out and trying to get off 100 arrows.

There were a million reasons that popped into our heads of why not to do it… too busy, too tired, too hot, too cold. There was only one reason to do it… we would be better for it.

I leave you with some of my favorite comments I collected from Facebook:

“Insanely wonderful idea!”
“Did he really do 100 arrows and not break a sweat in that heat and humidity?”
“What an amazing event! I love the North American Kyudo familia…we Rock :)”
“Yes, I felt my ki flowing like crazy once I shot past my expectations and know now that we have much more strength than we believe.”
“The ironic thing is that today I’m not so much hurting from the 100 arrows but from the after-party.”

On the idea of doing this again next year:
“I vote yessssss!”

I vote yes, as well! “Shooting is life!” I hope that if you missed out this year, you will take up the challenge next time and we can grow together in Kyudo.

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“Seven Times Down, Eight Times Up”

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius

An apropos quote, for if you do Kyudo long enough, you are going to eventually fall. Be it literately, having your feet slide out from under you or stepping on your hakama, to any number of other mistakes that all of us have made or will make. Some mistakes are apparent in pronounced ways, like dropping your arrow. Others are more obscure. As the Japanese say, “Even the monkey falls from the tree.”

It is quite a revelation when we finally see our mistakes. Sometimes awareness just clicks in our mind. Sometimes it takes an actual photograph or mirror to see ourselves. Blackwell Sensei had been telling me from the beginning, “too much tension in the right hand”, “relax harder”. A common mistake for beginners, but there comes a time when you have to let it go and move on to move up.

At the IKYF seminar this past April in Japan, I had three of Japan’s top sensei surrounding me all at one time, making numerous corrections to my form. No English, just moving my body into different positions. Due to the language barriers, I wasn’t sure why they were making all of these changes. After describing the scene to Sensei, it became evident they were correcting the faults he had been pointing out all along. I logically knew they were all right. I logically knew what I needed to do to fix it. Sensei taught me that. Still, I just couldn’t get it. I couldn’t see my way through it. I couldn’t make it happen.

Politicians are always campaigning on the “change” platform. Sometimes they even make claims as to what they are going to change. After being shown a picture of my right hand versus Sensei’s right hand at kai, I could not deny that change was needed. No politics involved, just fact. Along with a change in form, I had to replace my worn yugake as well. Everything was turned upside down, nothing familiar anymore.

I forced myself to come to practice most days, even if I only shot minimally. I didn’t want to shoot. There were many days where the arrow never left the bow by reaching kai and hanare, or anywhere near it. Somewhere between daisan and kai, it went! I whacked myself with the string every time. Often my spring-loaded eyeglass frames went flying farther than the arrow. I became conditioned to the likelihood, that I was going to fail. This only created more tension, causing more failure. I could bear the physical pain, it was the inner pain of failure that was eating me up. Shooting was no longer a joy. Fear crept in.

The Kyohon clearly states on page 70:
The full draw (Kai) is, psychologically speaking, the continuity of an imperturbable spirit. Removing attachments, desire, and worldly thoughts towards the target, at full draw you must wipe away negativity like doubt, anxiety, faintheartedness, fear and self-depreciation and make the effort to fulfill the spirit with self-control, composure, endurance, and determination, founded on the right belief. This disciplining of oneself in this very precious way is connected to Shasoku-Jinsei-Shooting is Life.

Symanski Sensei summed it up nicely at our seminar when he told us that we must have confidence in our shooting at kai. His only advise for my particular situation was, “You have to just keep shooting and work through it.”

I would like to say that I am on the other side of this mountain. I may be and I may not be. Shooting is much better. I still take a good beating at my own hand with the string attacking me from time to time. I work hard to keep my mind from giving in to the fear.

While I may never understand the all of the “whys” in this life, I have learned to accept that things happen for a reason. Sometimes it takes failure to force change.

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2010 IKYF Seminar Japan

While the 2010 IKYF seminar has come and gone and most of us have returned home, our memories remain. Whether progressing to our next rank this year or not, I hope all left with a feeling of accomplishment. We learn from doing and it was definitely a busy time full of doing, non-stop from beginning to end.

As Satake sensei pointed out in her opening remarks, part of the reasoning for having the seminar in Japan periodically is to introduce us to the culture. While many Kyudoka have a Japanese heritage or have been exposed to the culture by other means, this has not been the case for me. It was a cultural shock from day one. My right suddenly became my left. All traffic to the left… on the road, on the sidewalk, on the escalator, lines in the train station. Tokyo is a fast paced town, move over or get run over.

Maybe due to this fast pace and crowed conditions, it is even more important to be aware of courteousness. Everywhere you go you hear onegaishimasu, the magic words if you please. We use this word in Kyudo as well, but I have never given it a lot of thought until hearing how commonplace the usage is in Japan. Kyudo is an art that stresses courtesy from beginning to end. Why would I not expect that the entire Japanese culture reflects this as well? I found that the people I met in Japan were some of the most hospitable people I have come across. Only equaled, maybe, around grandma’s dinner table where anyone that dropped by was family, where it was expected that you pull up a chair, sit a spell and you never went home empty handed… a sack of ‘maters or a mess of greens always accompanied you home.

While each Kyudo seminar we attend is much the same, each seminar is totally different from the last. We all go there and do Kyudo. We learn, we grow, we evolve. And yet… it has much to do with the people we meet along the way. The special moments seem to be the unplanned ones, the people you run into and where the path takes you from there.
Each seminar I’ve been to holds special memories. They are all learning experiences… learning about life as well as Kyudo.

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